When I’m not quite myself – tired, emotional or over-worked – there are a few things that can make me feel better. Calm, back in the moment. But sometimes, I am so outside of myself that I forget to reel myself back in and attempt to find peace. It wasn’t long ago that this happened often.
Makes me think: If I have not always been able to self-regulate, how can I expect my children to self-regulate? When our kids are anxious, tired, under or over-stimulated, they may be amidst the struggle of an internal imbalance. So, what can we do to help them?
I’m not talking about the “go to your room by yourself” kind of grounding. What I’m referring to is helping them to restore a state of calm in themselves (spirit, body, emotions and mind). The connection we have with our babies is what allows us to easily be their teachers. Mainly by just being, as they observe. I calm myself to help them calm. I silence my fears and reflect peacefulness. I revise my behavior each day as I shift to another level of consciousness. And when I’m feeling unstable, out of my mind or lost in emotions – I know I need to ground myself.
When they fall and scrape their knee, when their sibling makes them mad, when they have hurt feelings or aren’t getting what they want, when they are so tired they can’t fall asleep. When they seem outside of themselves…. ground them. Bring them back to Earth. Grounding our children makes them feel safe, secure and teaches them to not get lost in their emotions.
When I tuck my sweet boys into bed at night – they ask for a grounding. As they lie on their backs, I gently brush my hands down their legs in repeated soft strokes. I talk of branches that reach out from the bottoms of their feet to secure themselves deep in the Earth, and how the crowns that shimmer on their heads reach up to hold on to the Stars. I remind them that they are safe, they are creative, powerful, loving, expressive, intuitive and connected. From their toes all the way to the tops of their heads and beyond.
Soon, they will be able to ground themselves, pull themselves back together after a handful of chaotic moments. Give themselves time outs and realize they are in control of how they are feeling. Create safe havens and recognize how to move past the obstacles that are overloading them.
Tell me. Do you ground your children?
Send them to their room with no tv (and no explanation or guidence)?
The next time your children are acting crazy (and making you feel the same) try offering them a grounding. Bring them back to themselves, with soft words, a gentle touch, or even some alone time with your loving face still in their eyesight.
They may need to be by themselves to become grounded. Surrounded by silence but not alone and confused.
It takes a strong will and peaceful core to teach our children this simple act of thrive vs. survive.
Find your way,
Jess Thompson, get REAL mama