Big belly, hopes and dreams.
Images, ideas of who my child was going to be. He’s going to have my eyes and daddy’s lips. He’s going to be sensitive and intuitive like me, he’s going to be innovative and hard working like daddy. All the while we think we understand that he is only going to be whomever he is supposed to be. Yet we still hope to see so much of ourselves in them. Because if they are like us, we won’t ever have any problems, right? We will always know what they need. There will be no surprises.
And then your baby is born.
A whole world is opened up to you. You realize the massive responsibility you have – not only to keep this little person safe, but to be the guide he needs. You feel your parenting knowledge shatter as it becomes clear that you really don’t know as much as you thought. The things you learned growing up, from your upbringing and peers begin to feel separate – you understand that their way isn’t always going to be your way. Scary. Uncharted territory. Clean slate. And then you look at your child. That beautiful face with eyes that see your soul. Your journey begins.
Your parenting technique emerges and it has no name.
Before your child can even speak, there is a connectedness which brings knowledge. A touch, a look, a sound. Communicating through the energy between you. Opening your heart enough to realize all he has to teach you. You begin to do what needs to be done because “you just know”. And if you don’t know, you become what I used to playfully refer to as the MBI (mom bureau of investigation). You feel something may be off so you research until you find the answer. The more you listen to your instincts the stronger you become. Your parenting technique emerges and it has no name – it’s something that belongs to you and your child. It’s what works for you and you are confident.
Like a blossoming flower, emerges this beautiful human.
So, does your baby have your eyes? Even if they look like yours, the answer is no. He has his own and he sees differently than you. Of course there are similarities. As you grow together, you will see how alike you are in ways you never imagined. But as each day unfolds, he reveals more and more of himself to you. This being who has so much to offer the world around us, in his own way. Like a blossoming flower, emerges this beautiful human. My first child came into this world and taught me how to love myself and others. He taught me that I am love. My second son has taught me how to heal him and therefore heal myself. They taught me that I am teacher and student. They taught me that it is okay to be different, as long as you are truly yourself.
A.C.T. (Action Changes Things):
Is there some aspect of yourself as a parent you have been wanting to change?
If it doesn’t feel right, have the confidence to throw it away and try something new.
Let yourself grow and change, even if it feels like rocking the boat.
Is there something about your child you have not been wanting to accept?
Are you able to trust him, allow his own instincts to guide him?
So much control to let go of, so much trusting and flowing.
And becoming…. who we are supposed to be.
I would love to hear about any changes you have made for the better,
or even things you have been wanting to try to change.
We all go thru growth, we all make mistakes, learn and find new ways.
Share your thoughts.
For REAL, even if it’s scary.